i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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