that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize