I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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