Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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