Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
