life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
