I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
