Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
