Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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