drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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