yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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