Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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