GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
