do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
