The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
