TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
