theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
