i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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