Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
