He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude i'm inner monologue high
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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