Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
