Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
