just tell him i said nine months
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
