Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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