I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
