We named our party play list daddy issues
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
