O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
