Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
