A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
