I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
