I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
