I can text with my tongue
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
