Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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