I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
