Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize