Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
