just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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