Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
