You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
