does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
