real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
