I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
