I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dicks are not precious.
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