I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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