You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
