how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize