I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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