There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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