She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
