OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
