I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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