Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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