walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
