So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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