So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
