i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
