at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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