We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
