there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
