my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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