Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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