NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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