when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
