i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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