I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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