I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize