Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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