ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You need Xanax blowdarts
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need a beard to bite.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
