I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
