We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize