I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
