I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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