My hair reeks of homosexuality.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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