yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
