I am puke
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I see more hoeing in ur future
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
