Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
