Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
