We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
