What a fucking waste of an outfit
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
