I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
