Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will be naked everywhere
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
